One night I was standing in front of the kitchen sink looking at a pile of dirty dishes and asking who, if apparently not me, was going to clean this up.
No one answered, and that was good, because I was all alone. One reason for that may have been the sink full of dishes, but it would merely be a symptom, and not the whole of the issue, which is not, the issue at hand.
I looked at the dishes. A skillet, whose handle jutted obscenely into the air, angered me, and I pouted. I decided to smoke, and consider my options.
Frowning, I folded my arms across my chest, and thought hard. I tapped my foot. Suddenly, I realized what had to be done! I grabbed a trashbag, and threw EVERY Dish, Plate, Cup, Pan, and piece of Silverware into the trash!
I don't have time for dishes. I'm not married, I have no kids, and I just don't have time for dishes. I have daydreams scheduled for today, and this afternoon I plan to sit down awhile, never mind that I have to drive into town for cigarettes!
Oh God. Why can't life be easy,.... rather than annoyingly simple?? Well, I have a clean and spotless kitchen, and isn't that the TRUEST measure of success? Hahaha!
I've become a genius at cooking on Aluminum Foil, I've baked a Cake on it (Yes, Yellow Cake and added Chocolate Frosting), and I've cooked Beef, with Potatoes, Broccoli, and Carrots, and lost no juice..., look, if I find a Girlfriend, I'll add Dishes to my life, until then, forget it! Hahaha!
Submitted December 30, 2014 at 09:53PM by Sensible-Enthusiast http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2qw8ko/youll_never_have_to_do_dishes_ever_again/
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